Reviewed: Wristbands

Unlike sorority girls and hipsters who collect their bands like bangles, I actually can and do find scissors. Even in drunken moments of frustration I can usually summon the strength to tear it off my body. After all, it’s only paper coated in wax, or sometimes, flimsy plastic. Getting one off doesn’t even qualify as resourcefulness.

70 Stars. Because age should be an accessory, not a brand.