Reviewed: Current Rolling Stone magazine movie reviews (page 80-81)

Here’s what I want to know—is the writer of these movie reviews one of those MTV idiots that won the job on that show? I wish I knew. (Peter Travers, who are you?) As much as I usually love crappy reality television, I didn’t watch past the first episode of MTV’s recent flop. Anyway, the point being, who hired this Travers guy to write these moronic reviews?

This dude reviews The Shooter (Mark Wahlburg), Reign Over Me (Sandler/Cheadle), The Lookout (indie thriller with Jeff Daniels), I Think I Love My Wife (Chris Rock) and Premonition (Sandy Bullock) in the current issue of Rolling Stone. Here’s the thing—I may not be smart about music (only my closest friends know the humiliation of the first live concert I ever attended) but I friggin’ know movies and I’m not a snob. I’m open to anything under the sun save porn (…), and usually even the worst reviews of things--as long as they are written with aplomb--send me to the theater. I mean, really, isn’t that the point?

I think this is what Travers needs to get. People don’t read reviews to hear some imbecile declare the main characters’ names in The Shooter (Bob Lee Swagger and Nick Memphis) to be “great.” The last time I read phrases like “the plot thickens when” and “the web he spins will pull you in” (not to mention using “bogus” as a criticism) was in my high school newspaper.

Anyway I guess, who am I to be saying why people read reviews? All I know is why I do, which is to hear someone say something smart and interesting about something and tell me how to think. If I wanted to be influenced by a frat boy I would have gone to more football games in college.

1 Star. P.S. The Lookout also stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt but his name was too long to include above.