Reviewed: Donald Trump Sends You a VIP Ticket

It arrived yesterday with hardly any fanfare. The mail had been sitting on the table for a couple of hours when Joe said, “Oh yeah, you got a letter from Donald Trump.” Sure enough, a nice ivory 5x7 envelope with my very real name on it (even a middle initial!) in a font that looks like fake handwriting.

So now, less than a month away, I (and a friend if I so choose) will know the secrets of wealth creating. I read on to find that Donald Jr. has even waived the $149 tuition fee, which includes lessons on taxes and protecting yourself and getting a 32% return all in “the Trump way.” Not only do the tickets have pictures of both Donald and Jr., the latter with something on his chin that could either be scruff or a not-so-carefully maintained goatee (which, by the way, seems totally out of character—come on, man!), but they also have a perforated end that will allow me one free copy of Think Like a Billionaire.

I wonder if the Trump way means you’ve got one too many M’s in your signature.

55 Stars. The fake handwriting really did have me for a minute.