Reviewed: Philips DVP5960 DVD Player

In addition to being completely stupid in size (only about 7 inches deep and weirdly 18 inches wide) this Philips player has a super high annoyance factor concerning operation. Let’s say you are looking for a nice evening of Sean Astin, pre-Rings but post-Goonies. Encino Man it is. To insert the disc you must first turn the power on, then wait between 80 to 90 seconds for the player to figure out if there is actually a DVD inside, the digital screen reading “Load” as you push the ‘open/close’ button in vain. Ninety seconds doesn’t sound long on paper--just wait until you are awkwardly crouched next to the TV stand with the disc in hand while the rest of the people in the room are looking at your butt. Finally, when this Philips player confirms what you already knew, the DVD tray comes stumbling out, clunking along like your grandpa on his bad leg. Don’t even ask me about the remote.

32 Stars, but I’m hesitant. Because it’s so wide it has to be stacked underneath the cable box to not look retarded, I’m worried that the weight will eventually kill it (considering that the manual recommends 10 cm of space on top for ventilation.) An early death would considerably lower the number of stars.