Reviewed: Shannyn Sossamon

She named her child Audio Science. I’m not even one of those people hating on quirky baby names. AUDIO SCIENCE. Look, Gwyneth can do it and it’s cute because she’s Gwyneth. Her mother is Blythe Danner and she was once engaged to Brad Pitt. But the only credit to Sossamon is that she played opposite Heath Ledger in a movie no one watched but me. (And James Van der Beek, but that movie was actually kind of good since it was based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel.) I mean, is this because she sidelines as a DJ?

The final score comes down to this: the other ones (Apple, Moses, Coco, Grier) are passable cute. Audio Science? No. Blanket Prince Jackson? No (even though your father is a sad, self-destructing dance/music genius that we mourn everyday.)

3 Stars. Possible face-saving nicknames: Auddie, A-Sci, Dio