Reviewed: Ayelet Waldman writes about Christmas for BAZAAR Magazine, says there's no Santa

I’ve never been one to be concerned with any of the debates that come around this time of year, not Bill O’Reilly’s so-called war on Christmas or all the Jesus is the Reason for the Season hoopla. I’m not religious and I enjoy the holidays mostly because of the existence of Santa Claus.

So that’s why I was a little miffed after reading what Ayelet Waldman, spouse of novelist Michael Chabon, had to say about Santa to her daughter, Sophie, in this month’s Bazaar magazine:

“…the mother of my then-four-year-old daughter’s best friend called to request that I tell Sophie that there was, in fact, a Santa Claus [so as not to spoil the holiday for her daughter]….
Not on your life. I told Sophie, as I have since told her younger siblings, that there is no such thing as Santa Claus, that he is a character in a story just like Willy Wonka or Amelia Bedelia. I further instruct them that their Christian friends are sweet but gullible, and out of respect for their limitations, we should all work hard to sustain their delusions for as long as possible.”

Dude!

Too bad for me, I guess, since I was one of those gullible, limited, deluded kids (and sometimes think I still am.) Heck, I still get a kick when the news anchor announces Santa sightings on Christmas Eve. Santa is kind of like my hero; he eats tons of cookies, gives away hundreds of presents, and sticks it to all the meanies with a lump of coal. How awesome is that?

If believing in Santa Claus is an example of my limitations that’s the least I have to worry about. I’m reveling in my delusions.

3 Stars. One year I even convinced myself I saw sleigh marks in the snow. Anyway, if you want to talk about gullible, Murph thought the ending of Alpha Dog had an interview with the real Susan Markowitz when it was really just Sharon Stone in a fat suit.

Reviewed: Guitar Hero on Gossip Girl

I’ve never actually played Guitar Hero, but I’ve heard things. Even though in fifth grade my nickname was Nintendo Nut, I have never actually owned a game system (we occasionally got to rent one from Stars & Stripes, and I played Super Mario with my sisters at the Laundromat about once a week.) Last night’s episode of Gossip Girl featured Blake Lively strumming, dancing, swinging her gorgeous blond hair around, making "rock star" faces, singing along without knowing the words and color-coded button-pushing her way to a Guitar Hero "Freebird" performance that ended with all the party guests cheering at how cool she was. It was weird. I felt really embarrassed just watching it.

For the past couple weeks they’ve been setting up a tension between Serena Van der Wootsen (Lively) and her boyfriend--Dan’s--best friend, the exotically beautiful Vanessa. Last night it finally played out when the two girls challenged one another to reign over the (Wii/Playstation/X-Box?—I have no idea) video game at Blair’s party. They took turns brandishing the plastic guitar in front of all the other cool kids.

Which means, the cool kids play Guitar Hero.

I always thought the cool kids were too, well, cool to play video games in front of each other on a Saturday night.

3 Stars. I don't know, it just seems like the scene didn’t play.

Reviewed: Shannyn Sossamon

She named her child Audio Science. I’m not even one of those people hating on quirky baby names. AUDIO SCIENCE. Look, Gwyneth can do it and it’s cute because she’s Gwyneth. Her mother is Blythe Danner and she was once engaged to Brad Pitt. But the only credit to Sossamon is that she played opposite Heath Ledger in a movie no one watched but me. (And James Van der Beek, but that movie was actually kind of good since it was based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel.) I mean, is this because she sidelines as a DJ?

The final score comes down to this: the other ones (Apple, Moses, Coco, Grier) are passable cute. Audio Science? No. Blanket Prince Jackson? No (even though your father is a sad, self-destructing dance/music genius that we mourn everyday.)

3 Stars. Possible face-saving nicknames: Auddie, A-Sci, Dio