Reviewed: My Parents’ Dog, Bear

Bear is like the popular girl from school—the one that was pretty and smart and everyone liked her and the worst part was that you did too, because she was also really sincere and seemed unaware of the glorious heights of her popularity. He’s a nice, cute dog, yes, but he’s also the dog that came after my dear, sweet childhood dog Yipes, sooooo it is hard for me to get completely won over. Yipes was just a mangey little mutt that was too small and scared to really be a watchdog (for all her bravada) but she was my favorite dog of all time, a 100-star dog, the best of the best. I keep a picture of her in my wallet.

Bear is twice the size of Yipes, but he nicely jumps on my bed and sleeps next to my feet. Plus, Bear will kiss your face whenever it is offered and seems to be around when you need him. I’ve always thought of this as a special dog-recognition talent; some dogs really can tell if you are sad and they try to cheer you up, just like the good friend that understood you completely and who you really needed back in high school maybe just to communicate to you everyone once in a while you don’t need any of those jerks because I'm here and I like you and it does make you feel better, it does. Bear, like Yipes, seems to possess this talent, if not as strongly. And he gets really excited in a contagious way if you run around the yard with him. I am won over by his popularity, as is everyone who meets him. If there were a dog prom, he would be Queen.

88 Stars. Dog gender is confusing; just go with it.