Reviewed: Hostess Mini Cakes 100-Calorie Packs

I mean, I don’t even eat Hostess. Ever. I’m way too snotty. But little cakes with frosting are now only 100 calories? (I’m not remotely aware of the science of calories; how many are a lot? I could probably look it up, but it’s easier to take the word of the guy/gal who designed the Hostess box.)

The cakes are tiny, about the size of a silver dollar or a big roach, with cream filling and packaged in threes. They are moist in a way those preserved, packaged goods are, that makes you realize the ingredients are going to be weird stuff (polydextrose, agar, glycerin—can you even eat that?—cottonseed fiber). They take about 5 seconds to eat, then an hour later you get a headache.

11 Stars. I think I’m going to stick with fat free Jello pudding. It’s classier, and I don’t feel ashamed to put it on the conveyor belt, or tell the cashier it’s for my fat brother.