Reviewed: Life

It’s not anything noticeable, but something is different about me. Can you guess?

The answer is I’m finally a passport holder. (Forget the guessing thing, I was never into that game anyway.) Well, I will be in approximately two weeks. I was talking to a friend the other day who was appalled to discover I didn’t have mine. He’s a savvy traveler whose destinations constantly make me jealous. Someday I’m going to make him take me on a trip. (Which will be hard considering I hate flying, and considering what an awful traveler I am in general.)

First I got my passport photo, which is awful and completely my fault. I figured there was a 50/50 chance that not smiling would be better than smiling since smiling has gotten me nowhere in the past (ahem, check card.) At the moment when it counted I kind of thought that I was doing a barely noticeable half-smile, or at least a smile with my eyes, but the evidence proved contrary. The photo-clerk even gave me the option of going again, but I stupidly declined out of embarrassment that I might take such an awful picture twice.

Anyway…

Our loyal readers know my feelings about the post office, and once again today I wasn’t disappointed. Photo upset aside, I was legitimately excited to apply for my passport. I waited patiently and never once had bad thoughts about any of the postal employees or the other people in line. I was saintly. I practically pranced to the window. But then the lady behind the bulletproof 3-inch dingy plastic squashed my hope and sunshine right through the little change slot where I slid my papers. I don’t think she even once looked up between barking at me for a second form of ID and scrawling illegibly and trying to get her pen to work all over my carefully prepared application.

Ninety dollars, please.

15 Stars. On a side note, have any of our readers been to Niagara Falls? Recommended trip or not?